The Online Dating Auditby Coach Karmos

Find the stage costing you most.

21 questions across profile, texting, and dating. Your score and your biggest bottleneck, on screen in under 2.5 minutes.

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Your score is calculated!

One final step. This won’t alter your score - it determines how you prefer to fix your bottleneck so I can route you to the exact solution.

YOUR SCORE

Your Dating Potential

METHODOLOGY

How your dating potential is calculated

Every rate below is drawn from published dating-app data. The 7/7 column is an optimized cohort based on data and experience. Individual outcomes vary widely.

Likes to match0.30–12.50%

SwipeStats.io: 7,075 accounts and 294 million swipes. Match yield by percentile: bottom tenth 0.30%, median 2.04%, top tenth 12.50%, top one percent 45.15%.
Median man: 2.04%, roughly one match per 49 likes.
Optimized: 12.50%, the top-decile cohort: strong photos, a concise bio, selective swiping. Measured, not estimated.

Match to date0.50–8.00%

Platform telemetry: Around half of matches never receive a first message, and 43% of a man’s matches end after nought or one. Between 80% and 98% of matches dissolve before a meeting is arranged.
Median man: 1.5–3.0%, or 35 to 65 matches per date.
Optimized: 8.0%, or 8 to 12 matches per date, on high-intent platforms.

Date to second date35–65%

User tracking: First-to-second date conversion runs 35–50% for typical daters and 60–75% for screened or targeted cohorts. Hinge’s 72% is stated interest, not a second date that happened.
Median man: about 50%.
Optimized: 65%.

What the 21 questions are based on

Each stage is scored out of seven. Thirteen of the twenty-one questions are supported by published research, listed below with what each study measured and found. Four are your own read of an outcome, and four are based on my experience.

0–3LOW

4–5MEDIUM

6–7HIGH

PROFILE

1
Is your first photo a clear shot of just you?

EXPERIENCE BASED
If a woman can’t tell what you look like from your first photo, she rarely checks your other photos. Based on watching women swipe in real time.
2
Do your photos show at least 2 lifestyle activities?

Boller, Lechner & Okasa, 2025
Causal machine-learning analysis of 16,864 new users on a German platform. Weekly sport participation raised a man’s probability of receiving a first message by approximately 53%.

Kaufman et al., 2016
815 participants ranked 43 activities by attractiveness in a partner. Playing sports, a spontaneous road trip, making music and artistic photography ranked near the top; technical and domestic activities ranked lowest.
3
Do you have at least one high-status photo?

Dunn & Searle, 2010
Between-subjects experiment. The same male model, in identical posture and expression, was seated in either a Bentley Continental GT or a Ford Fiesta. Women rated him significantly more attractive in the high-status car.

Dunn & Hill, 2014
Same design, different setting. A male model stood in either a luxury apartment or a standard one, and women rated him significantly more attractive in the luxury context.
4
Have attractive women or a dating expert helped you pick your photos?

White, Sutherland & Burton, 2017
Two experiments. 102 participants picked photos of themselves and of a stranger. 610 raters found the photos chosen by others more favourable than self-chosen ones, especially for dating.
5
Are most of your photos taken by someone else?

EXPERIENCE BASED
In my interviews with women, they described men with too many selfies as self-absorbed or lacking a social life.
6
Are your matches as attractive as the women you usually date?

OUTCOME BASED
Your own view on whether your profile is reaching the women you want. It shows whether your profile is under- or overperforming compared to real life.
7
Do women sometimes message you first, or mention something from your profile?

Zhang & Yasseri, 2016
Metadata analysis of 400,000 users and 2.09 million conversations. Men initiated 79% of conversations, establishing the base rate against which a woman opening first is informative.

TEXTING

8
Do you have a go-to opening message that often gets enthusiastic replies?

Cooper et al., 2007
381 participants rated 40 opening lines. Openers conveying character, culture or wealth outperformed jokes, compliments and sexual remarks; men systematically overestimated the effectiveness of the latter.

EXPERIENCE BASED
A weak opener gets a response rate below 30%. The three most effective openers in my framework get above 88%, and move the conversation in the right direction.
9
Do you reply about as fast as she does?

Wagner et al., 2022
Mixed-methods study, 200 participants and 1,042 coded message screenshots. Partners mirrored each other’s message length, message count, response timing and emoji use.

EXPERIENCE BASED
If you’re too available, you come across as too eager, which turns her off.
10
Do your texts often get laughs, emojis, or teasing back?

Wagner et al., 2022
Mixed-methods study, 200 participants and 1,042 coded message screenshots. Emoji reciprocity was associated with connection between partners, while non-reciprocation was interpreted by recipients as neglect.

Bressler, Martin & Balshine, 2006
Questionnaire study on humour preferences. Women especially valued a partner who made them laugh.
11
Do you make her earn your interest over text?

Birnbaum, Zholtack & Reis, 2020
Three experiments, one entirely over text chat. Partners who were harder to win were rated higher in mate value and sexual desirability, and drew more attempts at further contact.

EXPERIENCE BASED
Showing that you have standards makes women more interested.
12
Do you suggest a date as soon as she’s engaged and replying with energy?

Dredge & Anderson, 2021
Interviews with 22 app users in two countries. Clearly proposing to move off the app, to a call or a date, was seen as competent; never stating that intent was seen as incompetent.
13
Do most of the matches you really want turn into a date?

OUTCOME BASED
Your own conversion rate for this stage, counted among the matches you genuinely cared about.
14
While texting, do you make clear what you’re looking for?

EXPERIENCE BASED
Women prefer men who are open about their intentions, so they can decide more easily whether those match their own. Stating what you’re looking for also filters out mismatches before a date.

DATING

15
Do most of your dates move to a second spot?

EXPERIENCE BASED
Moving from one location to the next makes the date feel like two dates, and she gradually feels safer following your lead.
16
Do you stay present on dates, instead of rehearsing what to say next?

Karremans et al., 2009
Two experiments, 40 and 111 participants. Men’s cognitive performance declined following interaction with a woman, with the effect increasing with her attractiveness and with the man’s motivation to impress her.

Janz, Pepping & Halford, 2015
Speed-dating experiment. Men who were more present were rated more romantically attractive by women, regardless of their facial attractiveness.
17
Does she do at least half the talking on your dates?

Collins & Miller, 1994
People come to like those they open up to, so when she talks and shares, her liking for you grows.

Weger, Castle Bell, Minei & Robinson, 2014
Experiment with 115 participants. Those who received active listening responses (open questions, paraphrasing and reflecting feelings) rated their conversation partner as significantly more socially attractive than those who received simple acknowledgements.
18
Do you smoothly transition from polite conversation to flirting and physical touch?

Hall, Carter, Cody & Albright, 2010
Five styles of communicating romantic interest were identified. The physical, sincere and playful styles were linked to greater dating success.

Burgoon, 1991
Across relational message studies, touch compared with no touch consistently conveyed affection, receptivity, trust and intimacy, regardless of the specific form.
19
Do you feel relaxed on dates, without needing to impress her?

McIntyre, Peebles & Mattingly, 2024
Two vignette experiments, 116 and 111 participants. Individuals who signalled a strong need to be liked were rated as less attractive and as socially desperate.
20
Is the ‘no spark, let’s be friends’ text rare for you?

OUTCOME BASED
Your own experience, which tells me whether you’re being seen as a ’friend’ or a ’nice guy’.

Baxter et al., 2022
Meta-analysis of three speed-dating studies, 559 participants and more than 6,600 dates. Whether people pursued a second date was predicted by first impressions, especially the attraction they felt to that specific person.
21
Do at least 60% of your first dates lead to a second?

OUTCOME BASED
Your own conversion figure, and the cleanest single measure of whether the dates themselves are working.

Baxter et al., 2022
Meta-analysis of three speed-dating studies, 559 participants and more than 6,600 dates. Whether people pursued a second date was predicted by first impressions, especially the attraction they felt to that specific person.